rough

Padraic and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. It's not necessarily "between" us, per se, but it's more like we are both just upset at the situation. Last night I asked him why he always has to be so literal and black-and-white, and we got into a big discussion about how he hates exaggeration and metaphors and has a hard time with anything that isn't literal. And of course that's totally opposite to me. The whole point of art and creativity is to take something literal and turn it into something else, or else you're just replicating it. And I'm always creative and imaginative.

He was explaining how he hates making art or doing things when he can't make it absolutely perfect. And that was a big insight into how he operates. The linear drawings, the precise thinking -- it all matches. And today, he was working on drawing my valentine for the 3rd or 4th time, and he got really frustrated and angry because he couldn't make it perfectly match the idea in his head. And I told him that drawing wasn't the only thing he had to do to show his care for me, and that I'd love absolutely anything he gave me, including the drawing. But he couldn't come up with anything else to do. I don't know how I feel about that. There's always a bunch of ideas of what I could do for him right off the top of my head. It's not like I adhere to one and then can't deal with changing it. But I guess that's how we're different.

And then I told him he should walk away and do something else, and he said, "okay" and shut his laptop.

Ugh. I feel like crying but can't at the moment. I'm just annoyed and frustrated and worried.