What I'd Tell My Preteen Self

12/19/10; watercolor + sharpie

Being an adult now, I was just reflecting on how dumb everything I used to do was. I was on a walk this morning, appreciative of my current state of mind and my overall happiness, which, i guess, is a result of everything I have done. From about sixth grade to part of ninth grade, I was kind of unaware of reality. This may sound like some "How to Survive Middle School" handbook, but it is all from experience and hopefully kind of personalized. So, to any middle school girls reading this (I kind of doubt any will, let alone believe me), heed these words.

1. You don't need to look amazing every time you go out, whether that be to the store, to school, or on a walk around the neighborhood. That last one especially. The chances of you interacting with anyone are very low, and the chances of you meeting "that guy" are nearly nonexistent. Besides, who cares about makeup??

2. You aren't fat. Stop obsessing over your body. It will look different in every mirror, and every person will judge it differently. Eat healthily, but don't grind each calorie-count to death. Your body is fine, and even though some people may think it's not (yourself included), it doesn't even matter!

3. You don't even know the guy. Sure, he's cute. Semi-long brown hair, pretty eyes, taller than you. Have you talked to the guy? Does he know you exist? Unfortunately, no. But the point is that you have this huge crush/fantasy/obsession that is superficially based. You don't know anything about him--his interests, his intellect, his personality. Once again, the chances that you two are compatible are very low. This is middle school. Not every guy you see is "the guy." Also, don't have your friend ask this guy on a blind date for you.

4. Popularity is dumb. So all the cool girls are shortening their uniform skirts and scandalously walking around with their polos untucked. Unseemly! Well, keep your skirt down. On free dress days, too. Yes, you will eventually be caught by the stringent Indian math teacher and be sent to the office, where you'll proceed to call your mom and ask for a change of clothes. But more importantly, don't objectify yourself. Making your schoolclothes more revealing, which, in turn, makes you more appealing, is ridiculous. A helpless girl who needs a boy to be attracted to her to be happy. Don't encourage the boys. This point went down a different path -- oops. So popularity -- you really want to be following the fads? Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a conformist! Please. You'll find soon enough that individuality easily wins over worrying about keeping up with everyone else.

5. Thank you for putting up with braces then. You will be very thankful that you got them over with from 6th - 8th grade.

6. Back away from the internet. There are too many cyber trinkets you don't need to find, too many people you don't need to talk to, and too many virtual things you don't need to participate in. Go to the library.



collage; 12/21/10; silver sharpie; cutouts