The Opposite of Ennui

First off, I know I haven't posted since almost the beginning of summer. So from now on I'm going to attempt to be more constant with this, but life just seems to get busier everyday.

Things that have happened:

• Volunteered at Sacred Heart
• Went to Mexico to build houses
• Went to the cabin
• Usual boat trips
• Encounters with intriguing humans
• Constant inspiration
• Saw "Anything Goes"
• Increased right brain activity
• Started arranging Piazzolla's "Oblivion"
• Became obsessed with charcoal drawing
• Started a journal called "Humans" for the purpose of documenting adventures with interesting peeps I make acquaintance with
• Became obsessed with doing the dishes and general cleaning
• Covered my walls in artwork/photos
• Got 25 free prints from Shutterfly
• Gave up on men
• Finished the second season of Gilmore Girls (I'm basically on the track of re-watching them all for the rest of my life)
• Became obsessed with the song "Hot Rod Lincoln"
• Became bored with Tale of Two Cities
• Lost my grasp on orthodoxy

Etcetera. I have basically been churning out art and prose and worldly revelations. All for myself. That's why this summer has been perfect. I've done everything for me, and I've really just become myself--if that makes any sense. The only downfall is that now I feel totally isolated in some ways. My eyes have been opened to poverty, defined passion, and with those, more critical thoughts toward society.

It was hard to come back from Mexico and use the water in my bathroom to brush my teeth while I imagined little Gabriela asking me quietly for water. I couldn't do anything for her.

It was hard to go to Tahoe the next day and buy a pair of $40 shoes, which I rejoiced about being "inexpensive," while people back in Tijuana were getting Ultrasounds for $12 US dollars.

It was hard to realize that I'd reverted back to my luxurious, decadent life within a week.

Anyway, apart from that (my quick "moving on" proving the aforementioned point), I'm completely happy and satisfied right now. I'm not "trying" to be different as this "new" person, but I just am. (Why do I keep using quotation marks?) Then again, everyone tries to be different to an extent, which makes us all the same. Oh, infinite loops.

I'm on the fence about school starting. Half of me is just ready to get this year out of the way and go off into the real world (and by real, I mean the non-Harker, sane, comprehensible world). But the other half is too lazy to do all the work.

My mind is in the clouds.

For the better, of course.