I've been thinking about making friends. I guess you could say I'm lonely. But not suffering. While I avoid social contact, there's a part of me that fights that. What I've kind of been realizing is that I have very specific criteria for friends, and I'm starting to think that I won't find any new ones this year. Who knows. Maybe just that "walk-to-and-from-class-with" type of friend, but I don't think anything more substantial.
In a friendship, I need to be able to be totally myself. Be able to express all my opinions without fear of rejection. For example, H and I don't really work out primarily because I internally disapprove of everything she does, but I can't say so. She wants me to enjoy those things, but I never will. She's the dominant one in the relationship, and I think that's mainly because all the "bad" things she does put her in that position. It shouldn't be like that, but it is.
So yeah, I need a friend who I'm totally comfortable with and am equal to if not dominant. I don't like the word dominant, but it does exist in every relationship.
That's all.
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