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• i have resolved to stop picking my nails. it's been a week now that my red-painted nails are still in tact. mares lent me her "zoya" red polish to sponsor my habit-breaking.
• twenty-nine days til i'm home. thirty-one til i leave for europe.
• put my hair in rollers last night, wanting to have some bouncy curls on a monday. did not sleep well since you can't ever get comfortable while lying on them, and then it was raining today anyway, so all my curls were gone by 2pm. i wore my old fifties style polka dot dress (the black one with white frill at the top), patterned tights, and my brown leather boots with the chunky heels. it would have been a nice outfit if the rain hadn't intervened.
• going to head of the dean of students office this week and officially turn in my withdrawal form. that will be interesting and awkward, perhaps.
• i received padraic's six month anniversary present today...a cute card and a cd he made for me. it made my day. i love getting things in the mail, especially cute things from him. he's leaving on thursday (he'll be back late sunday night), and as pathetic as it is, i will really miss him. even on days when i don't get to talk to him much, i still know that i can. it's when i can't (if he doesn't have signal in new mexico) that i so desperately want to hear from him. i can't wait until all this long distance stuff is over. it will be so great to not have to pay for shipping to just give him little things, or to be able to surprise him in ways that can only be done in person. we only see each other once a season. looks like the next time he'll be coming out will be sometime in the last week of june. our families still have to get it together, though, so he can buy his plane ticket.
• i'm trying to memorize joplin's "waltz for bethena" and the end of the "sarabande" from bach's french suite no. 1. i have to sign up for my end-of-the-year jury tomorrow. this is all a new thing for me. playing memorized pieces for an entire piano faculty for a grade. not exactly looking forward to that.
• feeling quite antisocial lately. i don't feel like going out and doing anything with anyone. i've just been reading "beloved" in my room or in a quite place, talking to padraic, listening to music, writing, watching random shows, etc. just feel like being alone. also, my classes are so elementary right now. encounters basically doesn't exist, french and music theory bore me to death, and ear training is fine but not when it comes to sight-singing tests and solfège. though my last test was quite an improvement from the one before. 80% to a 91%.
• craving playing in the backyard with my dad like i used to. when we'd play catch with the baseball mitts, or kickball, or whatever else. i'd like to try to do that more this summer.
• need to get over my fear of panic in traffic jams (among other places...but traffic, really?)
• walla walla is pretty when it's sunny and nice. unfortunately that is only 2 months-ish of the time i'm here.
• how is it that as soon as i clean my room, it goes right back to its original state? i guess if i'd put things where they belonged, that wouldn't happen. i can't wait to move all this stuff out and say goodbye to this room. it had some nice times and some pretty bad ones, too. 
• what else do i want to say?
• i grabbed a thing of green peeps today that someone had put on the drinking fountain saying, "eat me!" and they were incredibly stale. tasted like bad cotton candy. so i ate one (for some reason), and threw out the rest.
• feel like writing something prosaic.
• i miss padraic. a lot. there's nothing quite like the feeling of being held by him or leaning on each other. it's not something that skype can fake.
• i should probably go to bed soon, but maybe i'll try to write something for a bit. goodbye.