Black and White + Childhood

1. Saying you see things in black and white is basically saying you are incapable of being open-minded. The key to cooperating with other humans is being open-minded. Therefore, if you see things in black and white, you do not have healthy interpersonal relationships. In fact, you most likely have a history of unhealthy relationships. Miscommunications, misinterpretations, and lack of either correct communication or any at all are all funnels of dysfunctionality. So, grey-refusers, good luck.

2. I think for a while I may have been going through a subconscious, semi-rebellious phase. In a weird way. I just...don't want to grow up. As dumb and peter-pan-ish as that sounds, I don't mean it stereotypically. I want to go to college and learn about great things and do great things and be an independent woman, but I don't want to hurt my parents by no longer being "their child." Obviously I still am and will be, but my adulthood is the end of their parenthood. Like when I used to tell my dad I'd never have a boyfriend because boys are dumb (the latter still rings true)...or just the simplicity of being a little girl...the little girl that refused to be potty trained until the age of 5...who refused to abandon the cinderella dress, the stuffed Barney, and the dream of making a bonfire in the backyard. Always showing my parents my creations and report cards and whatever else I was proud of to see their proud smiles...I could never have been luckier...I owe who i am and what i stand for to the way i was raised and to the people who raised me--not just my parents. My entire family, Aneea, family friends...everyone. I don't want to ruin that impression...that core of who i really am. I'm not rebellious by nature...I'm not "bad" by nature. I'm not conservative or morally perfect either...I don't wish i could go back and relive middle school, but for them I wish I could go back to preschool and start all over. But of course time is not maleable and is meant to pass. All memories should be preserved, and most of those won't be. So while I continue to dwell in the past and in the future...I also have a firm grip on the "now."