Anyway, so arrives my last week of freedom. I'm ready for matriculation though.
My to-do list for today includes the following:
1.) Tommy--vet @ 9:00
2.) Church--check, gas receipts, cookie box
3.) Print out textbook list
4.) Zappos--find shoes
5.) Work out
6.) Decipher meaning of random phone bill
7.) Figure out matriculation dress
8.) College spreadsheet
So far, only the first one is crossed out.
Yesterday was pretty eventful. I went to the gym for the first time all summer and really did enjoy it, in the sense that it felt good to "limber up."
Later I experimented a little with some photography techniques (see above).
Then I got to drive the Infiniti up to San Mateo (woohoo!). I came back and went to say goodbye to Anna. I honestly didn't think I was going to cry because I didn't think it would hit me then. So we said goodbye in the foyer. Then she followed me outside and when we hugged again for the last time, all the tears just poured out.
I think what really got me was that we were surrounded by memories. To the left, the lawn. Where we'd played statues with the passing cars. Where we'd rolled down the grass til we got so dizzy we could barely stand. Where we played water games. Where we stood by the mailboxes and pretended to be spies.
To the right, the driveway. Where I would sit on the right side of the car to wave to Anna for as far as we could see each other, and she'd follow the car along the side of the lawn. Where we spent hours and gallons of wasted water trying to "drown" an ant colony. Where we gathered as many acorns as possible and let them roll down the hill, disappointed that they didn't go further. Where we slid down on Razor scooters on our butts. Where we filmed countless movies.
It wasn't so much the "goodbye" as the change. Anna is going to college; I will be, too, in a year. No more childhood together. The end of who we are as we know it.
Now I'm crying just thinking about it. How is it that time is so unforgiving? We are so obscured by the future that we forget half the memories we never meant to lose, as tacky as that sounds.
I just want to be that little girl. That little girl who now seems to me a foreign being, a soul in a different body, running around in tutus and striped cotton dresses, playing kickball and pretending to be on a train with Sadie. Taking piano lessons with Michael. Getting pumpkin ice cream with Mormor. Being so happy to see Hannah with my mom picking me up from school. Going to Indians and Pioneers camp with Anna, two summers in a row.
When did I turn seventeen? How can I only be four months away from being an adult?
Reminiscing aside, I had band practice last night, and though we started late and only did two songs, it was amazing. I taught the girls harmonies on the spot, and they--the girls--sounded great. Then we did this a cappella thing/instrumental break instead of the bridge in another song, and it was just so...entrancing. It was one of my music moments.
Plus I got to see Mirian and Noemi, who I hadn't seen since Mexico.
No comments:
Post a Comment